Sunday, November 30, 2008


Anyone who truly knows me, knows how much I value friendship. I am a very loyal friend. Very. And I am lucky to have many wonderful friends.

I have one really good friend that still lives where I live. The rest have "flown the coop" so to speak. My best friend Lisa.. she left in the mid 1980's for Florida of all places! I still remember when she called me...

Lisa: Kelly! O M G!! You will NOT believe what my taxes were on my car!
Kelly: Oh no! Florida must be VERY expensive! ((teeth chatter scared!))
Lisa: Oh, just guess!
Kelly: 400 bucks? 350?
Lisa: 2650.
Kelly: Two thousand? OMG.. thats...
Lisa: No.. 26.50. TWENTY SIX. Dollars.
Kelly: NO WAY!
Lisa: yep.. NO personal property taxes in Florida!

That was a long time ago... but I remember it like yesterday. Of course, Lisa and I are like that. We could go 2 years without talking, and when we talked... it was like we talked yesterday. I love her like a sister.. always have, always will.

I have other very good friends. Some I have lost touch with... but I will always consider them my very good friend.

Some, I talk to frequently. One I talk to and she drives me crazy with broken promises! Oh well, I guess everyone can't be perfect. Of course, if I promise to see someone when I'm in their town, I damn well follow thru or at the very least, would call and explain why I couldn't. Ahem, if you are reading this, you know who YOU are.

Of course, my sisters are my friends too. I know I can tell them MOST anything. I think I've gotten closer to them in the past 10 years... and would probably be even closer if my husband wasn't such a dickhead. LOL.

Okay... that's it. Cheers to good friends!

True Friends are like Diamonds,
Precious & Rare.
False friends are like Autumn Leaves,
Scattered everywhere.

E = Ego

ego·tism           Listen to the pronunciation of egotism
\ˈē-gə-ˌti-zəm also ˈe-\
Latin ego + English -tism (as in idiotism)
1 a: excessive use of the first person singular personal pronoun b: the practice of talking about oneself too much2: an exaggerated sense of self-importance : conceit — compare egoism 2
ego·tist           Listen to the pronunciation of egotist \-tist\ noun
ego·tis·tic           Listen to the pronunciation of egotistic \ˌē-gə-ˈtis-tik also ˌe-\ or ego·tis·ti·cal           Listen to the pronunciation of egotistical \-ˈtis-ti-kəl\ adjective
ego·tis·ti·cal·ly           Listen to the pronunciation of egotistically           Listen to the pronunciation of egotistically \-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

Egotistic. Yep, that's my husband alright. I love the above where it is aka "Idiotism" as I am sure my sister Tammy can attest.

Although my husband has many positive qualities, he doesn't show those in public much. As frustrating as it is for me, I have to deal with his egocentric ways and deal with the backlash of what that does to other people.

I am sure there is a word out there for how he is. His male chauvanist wanna-be type ways. He has NO problem with me working my ass off, bringing home a big paycheck, but in the next breath has no problem letting me know "I don't know .... " whatever it is we are talking about. I'd like to bang my head into the wall sometimes.

I'd give him a link to my blog, but he'd never read it all. Sort of like not reading the letters from insurance about changes, letters from other important, life-altering things like that. Sort of like asking for directions when you are lost. He's beyond that. He already knows it all. So, why read? (banging head into wall!)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

D = Delightful patients.

As a nurse, doing home health full time & hospice prn, I get to meet the MOST delightful patients. Due to HIPPA, I can't post names or pictures of them, but I can tell you stories.

A good example would be from last Sunday, when I worked at Southwind Hospice House. One of the patients... an elderly woman who isn't well (obviously!) and is a new hospice patient was sooo sweet. She never complained, she only spoke well of everyone and talked about the huge love she had for her kids, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She had 11 children. ELEVEN! OMG, I can't imagine! However, she has 50+ grandchildren and 80+ great-grandchildren. It seemed as though about 70 people came to see her during my 7am-7pm shift. Well, that just showed what a wonderful woman she was. She doesn't have much money (who would with that many kids!) however, her children, grandchildren and their children came to see a woman who has made their lives better. Happier. And they talked about some of their memories.

As I was about to give report to the night shift, one of her daughters came to me and said. "Mom said dad was here visiting this morning, this afternoon and is planning to come take her on their final date tonight.... do you listen to things like this or just chalk it up to confusion?" ... see, her husband died several years ago, so, obviously he couldn't be here in body... but I firmly believe he could be here in spirit. So, as a good hospice nurse would explain to a family member, I told her "Yes, we do listen.. and yes, she could be going on her "final date" tonight". So, family decided to stay close by in case she decided to leave this world tonight.

I called the next morning, and she was still with us. I didn't get info as to her "date" with her husband, but my guess is she went on a date and just wasn't ready to go yet.

I have quite a few stories about my hospice patients seeing their departed loved ones just prior to death... also angels and other signs from somewhere else. Usually, it means they are close, very close. I don't work for another 2 weeks at my hospice job and I would be amazed if she was still with us. But, it's possible. There's only one person who knows if she will be or not.

I have many very delightful home health patients as well. I don't know why, but it seems that I connect with those who are very poor. Not poor in love, happiness or friends, but poor monetarily. Perhaps that's why. Growing up poor... perhaps that has stuck with me all these years and I can truly understand how they feel. And having met many, many financially rich people and finding they are so very unhappy, have no love in their lives or true friends, perhaps I know what richness is... and I am a firm believer that "rich" means that you have true love & friendships.. plus happiness regardless of your financial situation.

I have a couple who live together in their 70's. They can't afford to marry, because they would lose much of their income. However, they are rich in happiness. And I have really connected with them. I could spend hours talking to them, because they are so wise and caring. I am truly honored to be allowed to spend time with them, even though they think they are the lucky ones. They have no idea. No idea.

Don't even get me started on when D WOULD have = Dialysis. As I was a hemodialysis nurse for 7 years. Wow.. what great years those were. What great friendships I had with my patients, their families and my co-workers. I am still very close with many of those family members and co-workers... and I have been to many funerals. My heart has broken more times than I can count when I lost a patient I considered almost family. You can't spend 4-5 hours a day, 3 days per week with a patient & their family for years without becoming close. I have spent more time with some of them than I have some of my own real family... and they truly do become "family". And as we all know... family is for life. I still (2+ years later) keep in contact with many of them and keep them in my prayers.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

C = Children

The above are my girls.. Rachel on the left, Kaitlyn on the right. They rarely dress up like this, but when they do, they ham it up. Aren't they cute?

This is how they normally l ook... wearing odd things on their heads and playing around like they are kids. Imagine that!
Rachel went thru a bunny phase. Hopping and growing long ears. She's just recently gotten over it.

Brandon is above with his best friend from Kindergarten, Erica. They've never dated, but still hang out.

And the above is Jake. He's being silly here and playing around with the girls.

So... those are my kids. And they are wonderful. And they keep me young. AND they give me gray hairs! (all of which I promptly pull out as SOON as I see one!).

Monday, November 24, 2008


Yep, that's right. Biobitch. AKA BB. And no, I am not one. I got along very well, and still do, with my ex-husband (father of my son who is 20). However, I have my very own personal "BB". Her name is Christina. She's been a thorn in my side the minute she made false allegations against not just Duane... but myself AND my son who was 6 or 7 at the time. She went on to make more false allegations, all of which were unfounded, but she made her mark with me. I detested her. All I saw was a jealous, insecure & mentally disturbed woman who would rather make our lives miserable (including her own son) than allow me & my husband ANY time with Jake.

Jake was only four years old when I met him. Duane told me about his one night stand with this woman. He told me how she stalked him for months and months until she found him drunk enough to sleep with her. Shame on them both. I don't find her totally at fault for the situation, because it takes two to tango.. so to speak. However, I do hold her totally responsible for the fiasco that followed. Her inability to understand and ACCEPT that Duane didn't want a relationship with her, even after finding out she was pregnant.. well, honestly, what did she expect? Rather than allow Jacob to have many people care and love him was against her ability apparently. She hated that I was involved with Jake's dad. I could understand that more if say, they had been married and I had been the other woman.. but that isn't what happened. They never even dated really... a one night stand, her continually stalking him doesn't add up to a great beginning does it? Anyway, it doesn't really matter now does it? The result was a little boy who needed BOTH parents in his life. Unfortunately, she didn't see it that way. And it took many years, thousands upon thousands of dollars, numerous attorneys, counselors, doctors, court hearings and eventually a case manager who saw through her bull shit that allowed a young boy to finally spend time with his father.

The crap "I" went through was probably worse than what my husband went through. However, I know I didn't endure anything close to what my stepson endured. The emotional abuse she bestowed upon him was .. well, unfathonable.

Let me give you just one little example: Once Duane finally got a court order that he could have overnights and regular weekends with Jake... he picked him up on that night. Then, he got called to work (he's a railroader... on call 24/7)... so, Jake was going to stay all night with me.. the wicked stepmother and Brandon, the wicked evil stepbrother. So, because Christina knew Duane may be going to work... she had a plan. Here is how it played out. p.s. Jake was FIVE years old.

Me: Time for bed boys! (tucked them both in their beds) *Bunkbeds in same room
Jake: *Boo-hoo, starts to cry.
Brandon: (snoring... asleep before his head hit the pillow)
Me: Oh honey... what's wrong (walking over, comforting Jake with a hug)
Jake: I can't sleep... I CAN'T go to sleep.
Me: Oh, sure you can... you just have to give it some time. Hugs.
Jake: No... I can't. I need to go home to my mom. I HAVE to.
Me: Uh... I think you'll be fine here.
Jake: No... I am SUPPOSED to go home... or else... (very scared look)
Me: Oh Jake.. you are with daddy & me & Brandon this weekend... you don't want to go home already.
Jake: But I HAVE to.. you don't understand!
Me: Well, help me understand. Tell me why?
Jake: I can't. I'm not supposed to.
Me: (hmmmm) Okay... well, what would help?
Jake: Ummmm, I just can't GO TO SLEEP.
Me: Okay, you want to go watch a movie? (had 50+ disney VHS movies at that time)
Jake: Yes. (happy, smiling) Yes... I can stay awake that way... Let's watch a movie!

So... we got up, I put a movie on and we sat on the couch. I did to him just like Brandon. Little child, laid him down, head in my lap, blanket on him and I sat back and watched the movie he picked out. (honestly, can't remember which one!)

Jake: Well, this is good.
Me: Yep, good movie.
Jake: No, it's good I'm awake.
Me: How so? Why?
Jake: Because.. as long as I'm awake daddy won't die on the train!
Me: Whaaatttt?
Jake: (very matter of fact) Well, mommy told me if I went to sleep here and daddy was working, his train would wreck and he would DIE! So... I can't go to sleep!

How do you like them apples? And that is just example number 1 of 4,967. That witch actually did this to this little boy. And not only that... but hundreds (HUNDREDS) of other times she did things just as bad OR WORSE. She thought she was MOTY... but instead, she was NIGHTMARE MOTHER. How sad is that?

A = Acceptance LOL!

A=Acceptance. Okay, not really. But, since I have been married to Rasssbo, I have learned to ACCEPT he isn't prince charming nor a diamond in the rough. He's just... well, a wanna be chauvanist. And I have to live with that and deal with it.

I remember when I first met his family. They all looked at me and asked... "What did you do to him?" I was flabbergasted. "What?" "What do you mean?" I asked. They replied with "Well, he's so... NICE now... what did you do?" I didn't know what they meant. I thought he was a wonderful person... I didn't know he couldn't be nice, respectful or thoughtful. However, looking back, that should have been my first clue. NOT to say he isn't nice, respectful & thoughtful, because he is (or can be)... but we don't always agree. And those who know me, well, you know I am very verbal with what I think. And I guess, to his benefit, he's learned that the hard way.

So... acceptance. I have accepted I accepted him, as-is. And that's okay. I can live with that.
So, I have been successful in changing the name of my blog. And now, I think I shall do as my sister did... and do my ABC's. I may do 3 per day or just one. I don't know yet. I believe A=Acceptance. (sinister look here)

Well, it's been awhile, but I think I'm ready to get blogging! My sister has a blog that's gone wild... and although I don't expect (or want) that to happen here.. I think it might be nice for family to see a few things we are doing.

November is a big month... Both Rachel & Kaitlyn have birthdays... and although I don't have all the pictures loaded, here is one of Rachel's party with Kaitlyn hamming it up... (above).

Getting used to this is going to take some time... and I think I need to rename my blog, if I can. I should be "The Rasssbo Wife and Times" rather than The Rasssbo Family. Because this blog is more about me... with everyone else thrown in. LOL!